First of all, a lot of things happened lately. I am in Denmark, but before coming I was doing a lot of internal work the last few weeks in India. As a result of this, my big plan of coming into the habit of posting blogs a regular basis – did not happen yet. Plans change and my internal work was quite vital.
Leaving Rishikesh – we will see each other again
I left Rishikesh on Tuesday the 10th of January at 8 am. The last two-three days were quite hectic. I didn’t manage to say proper goodbye to Liv (NOT ON PURPOSE!! ;)), the Shiva Yoga Peeth poeple (Sushantji, Siddartji, Bhavanji), Maya, Guruav + Smita, Girish, Gyan Yog Breath people, and many more. But hey, we are all connected in spirit. If you know me, you also know that Goodbyes are not my strong side.
Dentists and expertise
One of the things that have surprised me the most it the amount of expertise I continued to meet in India. First time I had this Epiphany was when I went to get new contacts in Bangalore. The last of these experiences was my last night in Rishikesh, where I met dr. Gaur.
It is important to add that I have gone to the same dentist in Denmark for more than 9 years. This Indian man gave me a whole new view on that experience. He had such soft hands, and his assistant was SO aware of me and him. Despite loving my Danish dentist, as she is very good, this just cannot compare. Furthermore I will discuss in a later blog of how society benefits from having people who stick to a profession.
I ended up spending a lot longer in Rishikesh city due to my last minute dentist appointment. Furthermore I had to make my friend Sri Santanu (The LOOOVE guru himself), come at look at my packing. It all went fine.
On the road again
Much as I wanted this journey to be exciting, it was not. Just another journey by bus in India. After the novelty of driving in Indian traffic wears of (which it did a LONG time ago for me) it’s just transportation. The best part of the bus though was the lesbian couple who had a very cute puppy in the bus. That dog was C-U-T-E!
Doing a marathon in Delhi and still meeting up with a friend
And I say marathon as the time spend entering Delhi – was like a marathon. Typical rush hour. Despite the lack of time I managed to meet up with my friend and student Tapan. I was so happy as he joined me on the way to the airport. This sense of responsibility towards other people is the of the things I truly enjoy about India. Maybe its because I like that people care about me in their actions rather than words. Which is what I’ve experienced to a degree where I sometimes have been overwhelmed with love.
The flight journey itself was nothing much to speak about. If you have traveled by airplane, you know how this goes. Indira Ghandi Airport was quite hectic. I spend 3 hours waiting in lines. No time to hang out in the airport.
Female lines and females
In India splitting people into men and woman compartments and lines is quite common. I must admit, despite being a Danish woman I absolutely love this aspect of India when it goes for queening and driving in public transportation. In addition I find such delight in just being with fellow women. somehow there has been times in Denmark in the middle of the night where I’ve feared for my safety. I cannot compare to India as the culture is different – in many aspects.
Back to my travel story.
Bahrain – a place on my bucket list!
Bahrain airport was like all other airports (excluding Indian airports) besides the fact that people sleep on the floor! Amazing. I’ve slept in weird places the last odd year. I loved the service I received there as I was exhausted at this time.
Back to obvious bad service in an unexpected place
In transiting through Istanbul I went to buy some pastries and got the worst service ever. Oh Lord. The entire staff of that particular shop had bad attitude – although their pastries was so good I went there twice!
This shop was ‘Millenials-tired-of-their-job’-shop. Of course this also exists in India. At least in India the tired workers have to hide behind trying to be polite or else they are fired. In Istanbul I found the kind of service I normally only see in Copenhagen.Welcome to the West.
All in all it became a 1,5 day marathon journey.
Arriving in silent Denmark
The first thing upon landing that struck me was the silence of Copenhagen Airport. I continued to get baffled with this silence for a few days. Everywhere it’s super silent. If people are talking in the queue it’s obvious. Off course I’m used to it now in addition I really appreciate is my current state of being. Changes are good.
I was so choked in the car back home. The rush hour of Copenhagen? LOL!!!! Hahaha. The whole scenery is so sterile. There are no animals, no people, no sounds and so much homogeneity.
Adjusting and being back
Being back for more than a week: It’s been a culture chock to say at least. That being said, I did spend the last few months in India mentally preparing to get back which was needed for me. I’m sure this has helped me. Having spoken to other travelers and expats, I wanted things to be different for my return. There has certainly been things I was looking forward to saying bye to in India for for some time. More about that at later time.
Other cultural observations
The notion of privacy is surely a western thing. I mean western in a broad term in this blog (I am pretty sure that I can say on behalf of most Danish people that there are plenty things being portrayed in American TV series that we do NOT do, nor think is is appropriate here). Much to my own surprise, I miss Anjali (my friend at my guesthouse) and my friend Hari to just walk in on me.
Here nobody will show up without notice. I know that my dear friend Carolina is in the same situation. Missing these unplanned encounters. Now that I think about it, maybe that’s why I loved living at Hjortespringskollegiet (dormitory) for 5,5 years. I could just talk to people whenever I wanted.
Teaching the stressed woman – they need it
I’ve taught a few classes now. I forgot how mad Danish woman of a certain age can look. They are so hard in their faces. So judgemental.
It’s good for my brain to explain things in different manors. This is something I have too do, because I view the world in a different angle now. I need to speak a different way in Denmark.
What will you do now?
The other day I met up with my beautiful friend Heidi. Of course we talked and we came to the conclusion that a lot of what I’ve done before the age of 28 was related to my fathers wishes. This year, I want to continue my journey of letting things go. Of doing things according to my inner intuition. But I am pretty sure that does not answer the above question.
Helping my mother to proceed in her life
The main thing I am doing these days is cleaning up in our home. Where my mother and I live. She has managed to clear out some things in the time I was gone. Despite that, it’s still a huge task. I’m sure everyone who has experienced clearing out after a loved one knows the intensity this work. It’s truly a blessing to be able to help her out. We need to close a chapter. The time is ripe.
The hoarder? My father?
If I dare to say my was somewhat of a hoarder, I don’t think I’m exaggerating. Finding a place to sit, can be a challenge.
I remember learning about Andrew Mellon and his book ‘Unstuff your life’. The book and his videos were such blessing. Somehow I managed to clear out 1/2 to 2/3 of my belongings at that time. I am now getting to show my unstuffing skills.
What work can be?
This is a full time job. Both of us get affected by living here as well as we get affected every time we take a turn of sorting through things. Why do we get affected? Because it’s all energy. All the energy that has stored for years, in him not being able to let anything go.
We would have long arguments about getting rid of things. ‘Maybe I’ll fix it, maybe I’ll need it’. Well. Sometimes you need to let go.
I used to have very strong ideas of what work was. Even ‘thinking’ for my studies was not something I easily accepted as work. But many things have changed in this direction for me. I see the world very different. Mental work is also work. What I am doing here is spiritual and mental work for both of us.
So then? Teaching, therapies, lectures and workshops
I will be teaching yoga classes at Scala Yoga, Kildemarken IF og Stine Joo – Kroppen i bevægelse. This is my job: Yog, Ayurveda, and healing. This means that I will give treatments in Ayurveda, Emotional Blockage Treatment, Ayurvedic consultations, Reiki healing etc. Finally I will also do workshops here and there in eastern philosophies, lifestyle, mental work, yoga, Ayurveda and so on.
Someone asked me: What is this change all about? What happened in India?
I need to address something, that I find ironic. Someone, and if you read this, you know who you are Mr!!!!, proclaimed that I had become numb emotionally. First of all he proclaimed: It was solely him who could act ‘like’ that. Interesting, ey! That statement says something about the former interactions we’ve had, than about my current ways of living!
Somehow I am much less attached to things and feelings. I lived with very less the last odd year. People are important, and having good friends around you is vital. I do like nice surroundings, such as some simple decor, a nice warm blanket, enough clothes for where I am, kitchen space that’s what I need. Everything else is surplus.
Being a sadhu in a modern life
Emotionally I discovered that being in balance is much more important than anything else. Life will give me what I need. If I dare to trust the universe.
To be compassionate towards myself has been huge. And hard. Food is important, but also how I look at the food and my body is important. It’s more than fuel. Its good to have balance. To allow indulgence. With a good mindset.
Am I in balance after coming back?
Its a good question. I do feel like there are some challenges for me. Somehow after my mother and I agreed that I won’t look for a part time job the next months, I feel a sense of relief.
Facing my father – again
Being here, having to face these things again, affected me. The last year, I’ve lived with so few personal items. I tried telling people in India that I am normally a very neat person. Which they haven’t seen. They’ve only seen the messy Masum, the one with stuff all over. Because I could. I was free from my need to make everything neat and nice. Being here… I can’t really do that. Too much stuff here.
Somehow a lot of anger comes when I start to sort through my fathers things. Because… It’s not really my mothers things. Yes she bought a lot of it. As a result of my fathers wish. There is so much coming to surface through the material things.
Unstuffing my life
Things/stuff can be memories – both of nice times, but also of stuff rather to be left and not kept in our memories. I used to be like my father, I kept a lot of things. At a point I realized that I have no quarrels about getting rid of things. This was to much worry for my father, as one should keep things in case or for memories.
Spending time with my mother here, and not in India, forces us to talk about things regarding my father that we haven’t before. This is extremely good for us.
I know the drama comes and goes. It is beautiful. I keep reminding myself of this.
This is an update on my life these days. I will be writing more articles in the near future. Thanks for reading!